Hello – and welcome to the first of a multi-part series of posts I’ll be presenting here on the dreaded “Friends Zone”. In today’s post I’ll be discussing the reasons men get stuck in the friend zone in the first place, and how this can be avoided in the future…
There is no disagreement that the friends zone sucks and is not the place that you you want to be. So – you would think that guys would do everything in their power to avoid ever falling into the friends zone again, right?
Well, unfortunately this is not the case. You see, even with all of the articles that have been written out there, a lot of guys still haven’t gotten the word about how much the friend zone stinks or the fact that they need to take proactive measures to steer clear. And, as a result there are still millions of guys out there getting caught up in the friends zone every damn day – Hence the need for this article.
So What Exactly Is the Friend Zone?
I’ll keep this brief, because you probably already know… The “Friends Zone” or “Just Friends Zone” is when you like a girl but rather than dating her and hooking up with her as you would like to, you are simply her friend.
There are two basic types of friend-zone situations. In the first, you have expressed your interest in a woman, but she has said that she thinks that you should “just be friends”… This is sometimes referred to as the LJBFs speech “…let’s just be friends”
The other type of friend zone that you can get into with a woman is when you are friends with a woman, but you are unable to summon the balls required to express your interest in her. This often happens to “nice guys” who really like the girl and are scared of getting rejected by her, so rather than going for what they really want they just hang out with her and pretend that they are cool with being “friends”.
The problem here is obvious… hanging around a chick that you have got the hots for but aren’t getting with, is frustrating as hell.
However, for guys who don’t have many dating options hanging around with a cute girl who is “nice” to them seems like it beats sitting around the house alone, so guys get sucked in.
How Do Guys Allow This to Happen?
Personally, I’ve never gotten into the friends zone even once, because I’m not a masochist!
But I’ve seen it happen to tons of friends of mine, guys I know, and I’ve dated plenty of girls who had “guy friends” that they had been keeping in the friend zone for years… Man, did those dudes ever hate me 😉
That being said though, I have a lot of empathy for guys that have gotten stuck in the friend zone and I have talked a number of my friends through the process of getting out of this situation… (and in some cases even getting to date the girls they were formerly “friends” with) So – I feel that this is a topic that i know pretty damn intimately.
Here’s the big misconception about the friends zone… Guys think that girls “put them in the friends zone” – False!
Guy’s put THEMSELVES in the friends zone by acting passive.
I know that might be a tough pill to swallow, but that’s the way it is and the sooner that you can accept that reality the sooner that you’ll be able to start living in a world where this damn zone doesn’t even exist for you anymore!
HOW – do guys put themselves in the friends zone?
Simple, like I said it’s a result of being passive. If you are talking to a girl, making friends with her etc… You need to be flirting with her and showing interest. If you don’t she won’t think that you are the kind of guy who has any experience with women… She’ll see you as a passive – beta type of guy who she can get attention from but not as the kind of guy that she would ever want to go to bed with.
So, if you don’t flirt or express your interest right away chances are that you are going to wind up in the friend zone, even if you do decide to “make a move” later on.
If you wait too long she’ll classify you as “undatable” and “undoable” and she’ll start sending you some strong signals that she just sees you as a friend… Signals like: saying “you’re just like a big brother to me” or telling you that you are “sweet” or “cute” … These might seem like they would be good things, but trust me they are not.
Once you get to this point you can pretty much guarantee that you’ll get the “let’s just be friends” speech if you decide to start letting her know your true intentions and desires.
To get on the fast track to getting out of the friends zone watch this new video (just be sure not to watch it when any girls are around!)
Here’s the second installment of this series where I talk about what to do if you are already in the friends zone to get out and turn your female friend into something more… The “Friends Zone” Part II
